NOTE: My recorded performance has been uploaded to Canvas.
AFRAM
337 Critical Karaoke Script: Pearl Jam’s “Better Man”
The first time that I heard this slow opening was two summers ago, when I was delving into what would become my all-time favorite music genre: Seattle grunge. While the relentless drumming and aggressive power-chords of Pearl Jam’s Ten is what initially captivated me the most, I quickly fell in love with the band’s more laid-back songs, too. Something to know about me is that when get into a band, I get INTO a band. I mean, I pore over the lyrics of every song, trying to figure out what they could possibly mean, and of course I study the band’s history as if I were preparing to take a test. So why THIS song?
Well, two summers ago, becoming obsessed with an iconic ‘90s scene wasn’t the only thing going on in my life. I had just escaped an abusive relationship that I had been in for over two years. I was at the start of a long process of recovery, and I felt completely alone. Though it sounds dramatic, this song helped me realize that I had it all wrong; my painful experiences weren’t unique to me.
She [lied] and [said] she’s in love with him”. I did the same. The song tells the story of a woman, who, like me, had found herself trapped in a toxic relationship. “She dreams in red”; she yearns for healthy, stable and true love, but she doesn’t find it where she is, and fears she never will.
The accuracy and precision of these lyrics were strangely comforting to me, as a constant reminder that others have been there; I was never alone. The song deeply resonated with me, perfectly putting words to the feelings and situation that I had been in.
“There’s no one else who needs to know”. Just like this woman, I never told anyone about the what I had endured daily, the gaslighting, the hot-and-cold, the anger outbursts. I, too, struggled to remember the good memories at the beginning of my relationship; were they real? What about the person who I originally fell in love with; was he just a façade? “Swears she knew him, now she swears he’s gone”…
I know what you may be thinking: this song is written by a group of heterosexual white men; how could they possibly be able to describe my experiences as a woman? And that’s where some history comes in. While none of the band members have the capacity to fully understand what it is like to be in our shoes, that is not to say that Vedder, in particular, did not do all that he could to paint a picture that would do us justice.
In 1992, Vedder unapologetically scrawled “PRO-CHOICE” across his arm at an MTV Unplugged performance that would infamously go down in dominant rock history as a defiant challenge to the patriarchal grounds upon which dominant rock culture stood. The band also contributed songs to the Home Alive: the Art of Self Defense compilation, taking a stand against violence against women and sexual assault. Importantly, when “Better Man” was written, the riot grrrl movement was in full swing. However, riot grrrl artists often chose to avoid the mainstream, preferring to preserve their authenticity over spreading their feminist messages to a larger audience.
By contrast, Pearl Jam was at the center of alternative rock, and rose to mainstream fame. Though none of the band members could speak FOR riot grrrls, they did try to speak WITH them through this song, by attempting to help bring women’s shared experiences of the abusive relationship to the forefront of society’s attention. Reflecting the male-centered orientation of rock, Pearl Jam’s audience has been primarily composed of men, many of whom were (and are) rockists who pitted masculinized rock against femininized pop, worshipping the former and lambasting the latter. Just as Pearl Jam was not afraid to offend and likely lose the loyalties of some of the rockist men in their audience in 1992, in “Better Man,” they once again chose to separate themselves from that same segment of their audience. Through this song, Pearl Jam leverages its centered positionality in an attempt to force a conversation about issues affecting women before a rockist audience who would not consider these issues otherwise, as rockism is marked by the erasure of femme perspectives. By using their privilege, Pearl Jam successfully shed light on a woman’s perspective, literally using their voices to draw attention to an oppressive experience shared by many women, including myself. For that, I’m forever grateful.
Song Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=27ztFtLKvuQ
No comments:
Post a Comment