Being a biracial woman growing up in the Pacific Northwest, I have honestly always battled with which part of my identity I truly belong to. Rather than it being a battle between nationalities within myself, it was more so a battle between being Black or being white would dominate my overall identity and how I truly view myself. Growing up in Tacoma, my Black identity was made very clear at a very young age considering the lifestyle of much of the people I grew up with and also the overall demographic of the city itself. I constantly saw myself identifying more with my Black identity rather than my white side but that is also because society never gave me the option to really identify with that side simply because no matter what, I would always be viewed as brown. Author Ludwig Hurtado of “Country Music is also Mexican Music” says, “Mexican-Americans use country music as a form of assimilation into white American culture.” This really shows the importance of music and how strong musical ties are to one’s culture and overall identity. It can also be used to completely ignore parts of one’s identity as well.
In the process of truly trying to understand how to genuinely balance both parts of my racial identity, I noticed that I neglected a lot of aspects from both parts and just tried to match with whatever everyone else was doing while I was growing up. In that process, I lost myself and really had to take the time to both talk with my parents and even travel to both Mississippi (where my dad is from) and even Ireland (where my moms family originates from) in order to gain a better sense of self. Dawes quotes, “We found that it was really weird, like there was this lack of history talked about that no one of our generation knew about.” This quote really caused me to think about all of the actions so many Black and brown kids have been taught by a white focused society in order to more or less erase and truly forget certain parts of our own identity. Having the privilege to go back to Mississippi gave me the opportunity to truly connect with my family and even understand the very sad history that has taken place in the south and in the areas that my family stays in. Even traveling to Ireland, although not for a self discovery trip but for a performance with the UW marching band, I for the first time felt genuine land ties and have been encouraged to try to understand the Irish side of my identity as well.
The songs I have chosen for this week I think truly embody about really fighting for the right to authentically be themselves in society without having to erase parts that don’t fit to the designated norm.
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